New online services are emerging in the metropolis to help women with young children find a reasonable balance between work and childcare.
In conditions of self-isolation, of course, many are concerned about issues related to economic stability. It is clear that constant earnings play a crucial role here. And when a baby grows up in the house, considerable funds are needed for his development and upbringing. Therefore, there are more and more young mothers who want to support the family budget.
“My husband works in a small commercial company that repairs household appliances,” says Tatiana Savinova, a Muscovite. - But now he has almost no orders. My daughter is three years old, I'm on maternity leave, but I could just learn a profession while my husband is at home. So for me this program is just a gift! Right now I'm thinking about what to choose: work by phone or on the Internet. I estimate that it will distract me from the child to a lesser extent.
I consulted with experts a couple of times online. I confess, when I called, I thought that the communication would be formal. And, fortunately, I was wrong, the tips were very useful.
The metropolis has experience in helping young mothers find employment and career guidance. For example, the city authorities consider it important to encourage those enterprises where working women with children are provided with comfortable conditions.
Moscow mothers can get education during maternity leave at the expense of the city budget. So, last year in the specialized employment center “My Career” a modular program “Mom works” was launched, consisting of a course of trainings, lectures and seminars aimed at obtaining professional knowledge and socially significant skills. All services of the center are provided free of charge.
And many of those who took part in this project, according to the Moscow Department of Labor and Social Protection of the Population, have already found work or have begun to develop their own businesses. According to Irina Shvets, director of the My Career Center, the Mom at Work program fosters a culture of caring attitude towards mothers and understanding their special problems and needs.
Of course, everyone's life situations are different. But for sure, every mother of the baby wants to be confident in the future. And the opportunity to receive a stable income without interrupting the upbringing of a child is a great help.
Due to the pandemic, since March 19, the My Career Center has completely switched to online mode. But, of course, I have not forgotten about the needs of the townspeople in employment. Online consultations are now held for young mothers on the center's website, where experts answer topical questions. For example, what is the best way to proceed - to go to an old job after maternity leave or look for a new one, or, equally important, how to allocate time so that career growth does not distract from motherhood.
"Vocational guidance testing will help to identify personal, professional and motivational characteristics, preferences in choosing a profession and the potential for entrepreneurial activity," the official portal of the Moscow government reports. Career guidance specialists can communicate with Muscovites at individual online consultations. And the problems associated with self-doubt, low self-esteem can be discussed online with a psychologist. In addition, the staff of the My Career Center prepared webinars for moms to help them create high-quality competitive resumes.
“To be honest, I got the most benefit by communicating in chats created on the center's platform,” says a young mother, Elena Pyatnitskaya. - Not everything went smoothly, there were problems with the Internet. But this is all nonsense! Mothers are generally sociable natures. We love to chat. So chatting has allowed me to meet other women who have experience in how to combine work and caring for a child. It was important to me in the first place. Because, on the one hand, I, of course, soured, sitting at home. I want to do something, well, at least sew, knit, embroider … While my one and a half year old son is sleeping, there is time for all this. But, firstly, I don’t know how to do any of this, and secondly, I also want to bring money into the house. In a word, at first I registered in the chat just for the sake of interest, then I got involved, began to study vacancies, offers from employers, in order to understand in general what kind of home work can be done right now, remotely. Perhaps, then I will not need it, I really hope that our financial situation will not collapse due to the virus. But there is some benefit - I made sure that we will not be lost, and, if something happens, I will not have to sit on my husband's neck. I will definitely find something to do.
By the way, recently for young mothers who have already found a remote job, a new, also completely free service - an online nanny has appeared. For a month, 150 participants of the "Mom Works" program used it.
Virtual assistants, they are also professional nannies, arrange creative activities with children from two and a half to seven years old: they draw, make crafts, teach poems and even help them do their homework. According to the My Career Center, all participants in this project were trained under the special programs “Nanny - Mom's Assistant” and “Grandmother and Grandfather for an Hour”.
Whether to use this service is, of course, a private matter for every mother. But, you must admit, the more options for help, the easier it is to understand what you really need to feel confident and protected from a variety of problems.
Today, more than 3.7 million women of working age live in Moscow. Every seventh Muscovite who works or wants to get a job is the mother of a preschool child. Thousands of Muscovites have already become participants in the Mama Works program.
A baby toy will help you keep in touch with him
It is clear that the smaller the child, the more difficult it is to combine work and education. And it's not just about physical activity and chronic lack of sleep. One of the most difficult problems, according to psychologists, is the mother's guilt for leaving the baby to work.
“Working mothers are exposed to the same stress as people working in dangerous conditions,” says psychologist Lyudmila Fedotova. - This is a kind of neurosis - a constant being in tension, in anxiety, time trouble, a feeling of fear for possible mistakes. And such a state of the mother harms not only her, but also the child. Children very much feel the emotions of adults. If the mother is depressed or in a bad mood, it is difficult for the baby to perceive her as a loved one. So if you have already decided to combine your career and raising a child, get yourself together first. A working mother must be organized, only in this case professional success and a favorable atmosphere in the family await her.
According to the expert, building life according to certain rules will help in this. To get started, try dividing your day into parts: for example, from 9:00 to 12:00 you work. And then "children's time" begins. Then, when the baby has a quiet hour, you can devote several hours to work again. But the evening is a time for quiet games, children need to get ready for bed, calm down, and the absence of a mother nearby, of course, will not contribute to this in any way. For at least two hours after dinner, you read books, sing songs, tell stories. In general, you work as a mother. Well, when the child falls asleep, if you have the strength, write reports, balance balances, check notebooks
- The schedule may be different, the main thing is to make sure that it does not break, - the psychologist clarifies.- And in no case do not allow yourself to feel guilty! Mothers of young children are very impressionable. Cheating yourself is as easy as shelling pears. Moreover, some "kind" relatives or neighbors will begin to lament: they say, why did you give birth, if you have no time all the time.
Well, the truth is, you hear this and you begin to torment yourself: “I am sitting here at the computer, and at this time my treasure, maybe, is taking its first steps” And it is shameful and sad. Because it really can happen. But this does not mean at all that you are a bad mother!
- Paradoxically, according to studies carried out both in our country and abroad, it turned out that working mothers have much more motivation and desire to take care of the child in their free time. After work, they strive to devote every minute to children. But mothers-housewives, on the contrary, often relax, begin to be distracted by other things: baking pies, embroidering, drawing, playing sports.
Another helpful tip. Take one of your child's toys with you when you go to work. Of course, get his consent first. You can also leave something for the kid - for example, your pencil, notebook. This will highlight your connection. And the mothers of the smallest (if they had to go to work almost immediately after giving birth), perinatal psychologists recommend leaving their clothes in the baby's room. Babies smell their mother and calm down.
“It is important to understand: no matter how wonderful a mother is, she cannot give the child everything he needs,” the psychologist continues. - At the age of four, children need to communicate with their peers. Some moms get stressed when they have to let go of their child. And here going to work can be the solution to the problem. So everything is very individual. And everything has its time.
Can a woman combine work with raising children? Some categorically declare that the mother should devote all her time to the child. Others, on the contrary, believe that today it is quite possible to create comfortable working conditions for young mothers. Our experts also argue about this.
Alexey Egorov, sociologist, candidate of sciences:
Making a career is beneficial for everyone
Numerous sociological studies convincingly prove that it is difficult, crisis situations that become a prerequisite for the rise of female leadership in Russia. And now, as you know, the time is not easy. But even before the situation with the pandemic, according to surveys, the overwhelming majority of Muscovites would like to combine work and motherhood, have their own stable income, and at the same time devote enough time to raising children. But without help and support, you often have to make uncomfortable choices - career or family. That is why women in the capital often postpone the decision to have a child for a long time. According to statistics, residents of the metropolis have their first-borns later than anyone else in the country. This is our reality, you can't get away from it.
The question of choice is also acutely felt by single mothers who simply have to work to support themselves and their child.
79.7 percent of women living without a husband choose a combination of work and motherhood. The situation of this category is aggravated by the problem of non-payment of alimony, by the way.
On average, a third of Russian women today leave parental leave in the period from two and a half to three years, but women entrepreneurs and women in high management positions tend to minimize this interruption in professional activity more often than others. Thus, of all women returning to work after a year, 39 percent are managers, women entrepreneurs - 34.8 percent, with a working profession - 22.3 percent, and white-collar workers - only 17.1 percent. Much depends on working conditions. And where there is a strong social policy aimed at creating comfortable working conditions for mothers, the number of working women, of course, increases. And this is good! After all, if a mother works, she not only retains professional skills, makes a career, which is important for a person to succeed as a person, but also earns. This means that she also feels confident in her relationship with her husband. In families where both parents work, friendships and partnerships are more often formed. Together, it is easier to replenish the "family wallet", it is easier to decide for whom what load to take around the house and raising a child. But in a family where the children are still too young, the mother, of course, must work in comfortable conditions, which she needs to create with all her might.
Nadezhda Dorofeeva, pediatrician, member of the pedagogical association:
Taking care of children is not an easy job
The child always needs a mother. Especially when it comes to a very young child who needs the love and attention of the person closest to him almost constantly. Therefore, for mothers who are still on maternity leave, I would advise first of all to focus on taking care of the child. In order for the baby to feel the constant presence of the mother, I recommend talking to him about every action. For example: "Now we will put on a vest, and then we will eat" You need to talk to a child from the first days of his life.
The calm voice of the mother calms the baby best. And we must not forget that caring, raising children is not an easy job, these are often sleepless nights near the cradle, this is a state of heightened attention to how the baby grows, develops, how much and how he eats, sleeps. Frankly, it's hard for me to imagine a woman who could combine any other work with conscientious care of a small child. Of course, family situations can be different.
And one should not forget about the future. Over time, the mother herself will understand, again intuitively, when she can gradually entrust the care of the child - first for a few minutes, then hours - to dads and grandmothers. Then, for example, while the baby is sleeping, you can do some additional activity. But again, only if the woman feels the strength in herself and does not need rest.
As for the idea of entrusting communication with the child to an online nanny, it seems dubious to me. Whatever courses a person graduates from, he will still communicate with your child remotely.
Just imagine: mom went to another room to make a business call, work with documents. And the child at that time was left alone in front of the computer monitor. And if, God forbid, he falls from the chair? Or simply does not want to communicate with "someone else's aunt"? This means that mom will still have to control the process. Of course, for older children, already schoolchildren, such a model may be possible. But also with a proviso: if the mother is one hundred percent sure that communication gives the child pleasure, does not excite him. For a short time or in an emergency, perhaps, an online nanny can be a lifesaver. But in general, the intervention of an outsider, with whom the child has only eye contact, is unlikely to be beneficial.