Russia leads the world in the number of divorces. More than 60% of marriages break up. According to a VTsIOM poll, the main reason is poverty and the inability to feed a family. Most often, a wife leaves her husband because he does not work or does not earn enough. The lack of desire to take on any responsibility is a characteristic feature of the generation born in the late 80s and early 90s, according to social psychologists. Experts told NEWS.ru where infantilism comes from and how not to raise a "vegetable" out of a child.
People who were born in the 80s and early 90s are infantile. They are not ready to take responsibility, solve problems, achieve success, said psychologist Alexander Ustyuzhanin, a specialist in the field of crisis issues of human psychology. There are "frighteningly many" such among women and men, the expert noted. True, the infantilism of the stronger sex is more noticeable. It is in Russian culture that great achievements and successes are expected from men. And it is enough for a woman to be just a mother and a wife.
The expert listed several reasons for mass infantilism. Firstly, representatives of generation Y went to school, which was still Soviet in its structure. This pedagogical system did not contribute to the formation of an active personality.
Author: Alexander Ustyuzhanin [psychologist, specialist in the field of crisis issues of human psychology]
There was a general leveling, there was no need to be a leader or stand out. There was no chance to break out of the "middle". People are used to the fact that someone decides for them. And the responsibility for their lives does not lie with them.
The second reason is that the childhood of generation Y fell on the 90s, when there was a crisis in the country. Grieving parents strenuously protected their children from everyday problems. At the same time, they did not have time for education. Therefore, many things were not vaccinated for children from the 90s. For example, the need to take responsibility.
Modern people perceive their own life as a computer game, this is a feature of postmodern society. What is happening around them does not seem to them serious. They believe that if something goes wrong, you can press the "delete" button and start all over again, social psychologist Alexei Roshchin told NEWS.ru. There are at least two reasons for this - a passion for computer games and a lack of experience in overcoming difficulties.
Author: Alexey Roshchin [social psychologist]
Recent generations have grown up in a relatively prosperous world. Food and shelter were guaranteed. No one was afraid that something would go wrong. They have no experience of fighting for a place in the sun.
Infantilism is more typical for men than for women. Nature has created a stronger sex for fighting, aggression and expansion. In modern society, this turned out to be unnecessary, says Roshchin.
Men in greenhouse conditions quickly forget their natural function. They continue to fight with enemies and achieve something only in computer games. Only there he continues to be a man, - said the expert.
The generation born in the 80s and early 90s is really infantile, clinical psychologist Valentin Denisov-Melnikov agrees with colleagues. The main reason is child-centered parenting. The kid becomes the greatest value. He is always in the spotlight. They cook him, put food on him, wash the dishes, take him to school until he is 15 years old.
Author: Valentin Denisov-Melnikov [clinical psychologist and sexologist]
Children get used to overprotection, their ability to make decisions is not formed, and independence is not formed. They are constantly waiting for someone to decide something for them. Therefore, men are looking for a new mother. Why should they be proactive, if everything was always decided for them.
Another reason why children grow up infantile is that parents nip any initiative in the bud. For example, a child wants to wash the dishes, and the mother says: "I myself." An attitude is fixed in the child's mind - no one needs your initiative. In adulthood, such a boy is likely to be very childish and unsuccessful.