- I remember when I was 18 I watched a program about a large family with 11 children. And I wanted to have a big family too, many children. And then I got married and this idea was somehow forgotten. But it turned out that there are still a lot of children in my life. I remembered my dream only after I gave birth to my third daughter. And I am very happy that I have so many children.
Now I can say with confidence: if you are sad, start a big family and there will be no time for melancholy and despondency. Children are always a joy. No matter how tired I am, I go home and understand what I live for: the children are happy, they ask something, they hug me.
Marina is 20 years old, she is a student, Nastya is 14, Alisa is 12, and Yulia recently turned five. And in the big family there is a ginger cat and a hamster. Each daughter has her own hobbies. Marina is engaged in historical ballroom dancing, and therefore there are always chic ballroom dresses with crinolines at home. Nastya loves to create clothes. Alice is engaged in artistic gymnastics. And they all study together in the theatrical studio "Golden Key", which is directed by my mother. When the youngest daughter was born in the family, Tatyana decided to open a private kindergarten and a children's development center.
- I can say right away that this can be called a business very conditionally. I wanted to make a development center for children, because in the village of Novy, where we live, there was almost nothing for children. You can earn money in a private garden only if you work there yourself - both as a teacher and as a nanny.And when there are so many children in a family, you will definitely not be able to work fully, if only because you have to constantly ask for leave - take them to a circle, to a school, to a clinic …
At 40 - mom again
For the fourth time, Tatyana became a mother at forty.
- The youngest, Yulechka, was born exclusively on the initiative of her husband: "The children will grow up, and we will be left alone!" And my age is such that it is scary to give birth. But a medical examination showed that everything was in order and I made up my mind.
During pregnancy, I had no fears, although, of course, there is a significant difference - to carry a child at twenty and forty. I got tired faster, I was not so active. Most of all I was afraid of sleepless nights. But my husband and older children helped me in everything, in addition, we had a nanny, which made life much easier.
Common living conditions
Everyone has their own responsibilities, because in a large family it is impossible to do otherwise. The main condition: everyone cleans up after themselves. With this, everything is strict. It's like being in a hostel! Someone is sweeping the kitchen, someone is in the corridor. The eldest daughter washes the floor once a week, and her mother washes the floor twice a week. In addition, the elder Marina loves to cook and fries and soars with pleasure for the whole family.
Tatyana is sure: the more children there are in the family, the more order there, because without a clear structuring of life it will be very difficult.
- We buy groceries in a large supermarket once a week. We never buy semi-finished products, no fast food - we cook ourselves. This significantly reduces the cost of food. In addition, I make sure that the food is healthy. If chocolate is bitter.
It's good that the children are of different ages, they can always be entrusted with something. But at the same time, I try not to load them too much, since I did not give birth to them at all so that they would follow each other. Although all the older girls are happy to babysit with the youngest Yulechka, so my husband and I have the opportunity to go somewhere together.
In the evenings we all play board games together. What we will play, as a rule, middle children choose - they agree among themselves.
In general, children who grow up in a large family know how to keep themselves occupied.From the experience of my acquaintances, I know that children who grow up one by one constantly complain that they are bored and not interested. We don't have conflicts between children at all.
Another important condition is a common family dinner. Dad arrives late, the girls and I have had dinner by this time. Nevertheless, we all come together at a common table. Dad is having dinner, and we have tea and tell each other how the day went.
There are other traditions as well. Dad prepares breakfast on Sundays, and on Saturdays I make pancakes. Once a month my children and I or my husband and I go to the theater. Once a week, we definitely go out somewhere with the whole family.
Talk to me mom
- I really enjoy spending time with children. I will reveal one small, but important secret: so that there is no jealousy among children, it is imperative to spend time with every child every day - face to face.
You can just play with the younger one. Teenagers don't need my games so much, they need me to talk to them. But not that I went to their room, where they are together, but with each! For example, I noticed that Alice went to the kitchen. I go to get her, offer to drink tea together, to confide in secrets. Nastya studies at the Melange design school and loves to sew. We can talk to her on the way to class, or when we go shopping, we choose fabrics. I try to share the interests of all children, although they are very different! Now two daughters are in adolescence, it is difficult with them. Parental chats come to the rescue, from which it becomes clear what is happening at school - I myself can throw a topic for conversation.
We meet with the eldest daughter less often, because she is no longer only studying, but also working, but, nevertheless, we can go for a walk with her and go shopping. Sometimes she calls herself and says: "Mom, I have free time between couples, let's meet and talk?"
When girls ask me questions, I try not to give them ready-made answers, but I suggest to speculate: what do you think yourself? What if? I believe that it is very important to teach children to think, reflect, draw conclusions. It is important that they are socialized and able to live in society. This is what I teach my daughters.
In addition to her family, Tatiana finds time for an active social life. She is a member of the Council of TOS "Novy", prepares projects for grants. Tatiana Zhuravleva, a member of the city public chamber, advises people not to be afraid to unite to solve similar problems, because together, in a circle of like-minded people, all issues are solved easier. This summer, a public council was created at the central city hospital, and she became its chairman.
- Our main function is to make medical services of high quality. There are not enough doctors in hospitals, so we are working to ensure that doctors can get service housing. In order for young specialists to leave the decree for work, we are trying to help with places in kindergartens. For example, I gave my place in kindergarten to a doctor.
I enrolled the child in the queue, but did not give it up, because I opened my own private kindergarten. In addition, we meet with parents with many children who, like me, stand in line, but do not plan to send their children to kindergarten.
We want to decorate the walls of children's hospitals with drawings. To do this, we are now looking for artists - if someone is ready to do this, we will be happy. The design has already been developed.
Together with the chief physician, we will be introducing a computer program from January, thanks to which it will be possible to make an appointment with a narrow specialist right in the office of a pediatrician or therapist.
There is no need to be afraid to change something - you just have to start and there will definitely be like-minded people!
Touches for a family portrait
- How do you manage everything?
- I am often asked this question, and I immediately answer - there is not enough time. Often I come home so tired that I just don't pay attention to the mess. When I had two children, the house was always perfectly clean. And now I realized that this is not the most important thing in life.In the end, the dishes are washed by the dishwasher, the washing machine. I just don't do something. And in public life, I draw up a plan and work according to it. Sometimes I have to postpone something, I don't have time for something. But in any case, I try to bring everything to the end.
- Do you have enough time for yourself?
- Of course! The main condition for a happy family where everyone is happy is a satisfied mother. Therefore, I always find time for a manicure, a beauty salon. If I get very tired, I do not close myself in the room: I have an armchair from which the whole apartment can be viewed. I sit in it and from there I "lead the process."
- Does a big family teach you to look at things easier?
- Yes. You can immediately see what is important and what can wait. The more children you have, the more organized person you become. I sometimes fearfully think about the time when all the children will grow up and disperse. I will always be clean, there will be a lot of food, but it will be very sad.
- How does dad feel in the maiden kingdom?
- Well! The rule is: everyone cleans up after themselves, and everyone cleans up after dad! Of course, it is hardest for a man to go shopping, which absolutely all girls adore. But he suffers! Not so long ago, he suffered a serious illness, and all the girls helped me a lot to take care of him.