As The Girl Anya, "the Granddaughter Of A Japanese General," Found Her Parents

As The Girl Anya, "the Granddaughter Of A Japanese General," Found Her Parents
As The Girl Anya, "the Granddaughter Of A Japanese General," Found Her Parents

Video: As The Girl Anya, "the Granddaughter Of A Japanese General," Found Her Parents

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Natalia Volkova, Change One Life Foundation - specially for the Social Navigator

The number of video questionnaires of orphans filmed by the staff of the "Change one life" fund exceeded 36,000. All these children ceased to be "invisible" and got a chance for a family. How parents find a child through the foundation's video questionnaire - in the story of 6-year-old Anya Gutorova and her foster mother Polina Tarasova.

Signed consent without looking

Muscovite Polina Tarasova saw Anya, her future adopted daughter, in a video-commercial shot by the Change One Life Foundation. Exactly nine months passed from that day to Polina's acquaintance with Anya. “Real pregnancy,” says Polina, laughing. So 6-year-old Anya Gutorova, who was abandoned twice in her short life, finally found her family.

- Anya, my husband and I took away from the city of Petrovsk-Zabaikalsky, in the Trans-Baikal Territory. From Moscow we flew by plane to Ulan-Ude, and from there we traveled for several hours in a rented car along very bad roads. It was on Friday, the guardianship worked until three that day. We burst in there half an hour before closing time, and the employee who was waiting for us immediately said: "Here is the consent. Will you sign?" Of course we will! They signed and only then went to a meeting with Anya, - Polina Tarasova recalls the day when she met her adopted daughter.

It was the end of August 2016, and for the first time a video about Anya, which was filmed by the fund's staff, the Tarasovs saw at the end of November 2015. For nine months they had been preparing to go after her. In this sense, the past tense and such "birth" of Anya in a new family really reminded of a real pregnancy: after all, when a child is born, no one can say exactly what it will be like.

“We didn't go so far to return without Anya,” says Polina.

To making a decision - through the school of foster parents

The Tarasovs have a blood child - 18-year-old daughter Sasha. They always wanted more children, but for medical reasons this was impossible. Polina's husband, Aleksey, was especially upset about this, and his wife offered to take the child from the orphanage.

- For me, this is nothing special. My grandmother worked in an orphanage, my mother spent a lot of time there with her, so the topic was always heard in our family, - says Polina. - But my husband was against it at first. I decided to wait until it matures, and suggested just like that, to broaden my horizons, to be like in the school of foster parents. Studying there does not require adoption, it just gives an idea of ​​adoptive parenting in modern conditions.

The Tarasovs studied at the PDS for three months. Alexei, to Polina's delight, liked everything very much, he actively participated in everything that the teachers suggested, and after that he agreed to take the child from the orphanage.

"It's disgusting, like we're in a store"

Polina began to show her husband photographs of the children, but he reacted indifferently. Three days later he admitted: "You see, it's very disgusting, as if we were in a store." But when they saw Ani's videotape together, the Tarasovs realized - here it is. Found!

“We liked her right away,” says Polina. - She has a noticeable appearance, peculiar. Half Russian, half Japanese or Chinese is unknown. But when strangers ask us why our daughter is not like us, I answer: "Our grandfather is a Japanese general." And that's all, the questions disappear.

Polina says that during the search it was not very important for her whether a boy or a girl appeared in the house, the main thing was not a newborn child. "I understood that it would be difficult for me already from sleepless nights, although I was restless with Anya for the first few months, she slept very anxiously."

Minus eight, but I didn't wear glasses

The Tarasovs agreed to take a child with a disability, but with such that it was possible to "fix":

- Before Anya, we considered the possibility of taking one boy from Petrozavodsk, but it turned out that he had a severe disability, we realized that we could not cope. Anya also has a disability, but correctable: myopia is -8 and minor problems with her limbs.

Anya was a pupil of a correctional boarding school for visually impaired children, but she walked without glasses, like most of the other children there. “Most likely, due to lack of funding. I don’t understand what and how she saw?” Polina wonders. “And she didn’t fall, she was well oriented in space.”

Now Anya wears glasses. Doctors say that you need to wait seven years for the eyes to fully form, then it will be clear whether vision can be improved. Several surgeries on the arms and legs have already taken place - and Anya's new adoptive parents took care of this.

Originally from Nakhodka

Anya was born in the city of Nakhodka, Primorsky Krai. Her blood mother abandoned her in the hospital. They say that Anya is the fifth child of this woman. The girl was born prematurely, weighed less than a kilogram, but she was released. A few years later, Anya was taken from the orphanage by a family from Chita.

As a girl, Anya, "the granddaughter of a Japanese general," found her parents. Instead of parents, Anya has dashes in her birth certificate,”says Polina. - But in the personal file there were the coordinates of the woman who became Anya's godmother, and recently I called her. She said that she talked with her foster family, that she was taken to Chita. Anya outwardly looked like them, apparently, they were specially selected. But a little over a year later, the adoptive parents gave the girl back. “We couldn't love the child as our own,” they explained in their statement their refusal.

Polina thinks that those adoptive parents were not ready for difficulties, maybe they did not go to the PDS.

- Anya was taken into the family, but almost immediately she was sent to a kindergarten. She behaved, in the opinion of the first adoptive family, very bad: arranged tantrums, ran away, fell to the floor. She is a very emotional companion, I can imagine how difficult it was for her: both at home and in the garden, everyone is unfamiliar, so she had such a reaction. And that mother decided that it was psychiatry, and returned it.

Wild man with big eyes

When the Tarasovs saw Ani's video questionnaire, they wrote to the boarding school, made contact with the teachers and in the meantime were deciding when and how they would fly to Ulan-Ude. They wanted to pick her up at the beginning of the summer, but did not have time - Anya was sent to the camp.

- Oh, it would be better if we came for her earlier after all, - says Polina. - When we saw her for the first time, Anya looked like a wild man with big eyes, always looking for something to eat? The feeling was that she was after a hunger strike of some kind. Didn't they feed them in the camp, or what? Even the teacher did not recognize her, she was surprised how Anya lost a lot of weight.

Slim, with white bows, in white tights and in an old but clean dress - this was the first time Polina and Aleksey Anya saw this. "She was so small! Although she looked bigger in photos and videos."

The Tarasovs decided to stay in Petrovsk-Zabaikalsky for several days. The boarding school was empty; renovations were being completed in it for the new academic year. It seemed to the husband and wife that it would be better for the girl - she needed to get used to them, and in a familiar environment it would be easier to do this.

- But there they started painting windows and railings, we could not stand the smell and moved to the hotel. This did not bother Anya at all, as if it should be so. She immediately began to call me mom. But she called all women that. For Ani, the word "mom" used to mean "aunt who is with me now."

Baikal and six lollipops

On the way home to Moscow, the Tarasovs, together with their adopted daughter, decided to visit Baikal - when will such an opportunity arise? They rushed there. The first joint trip brought the first discoveries: Polina and Alexey were surprised by Anina's talkativeness.

- Our eldest daughter Sasha is calm, and Anya is a hyperactive child. When this miracle is running around you, making noise, asking questions all the time, this, of course, is not easy.We even nicknamed her Radioanei, - says Polina. - For a six-hour flight to Moscow from Ulan-Ude, I stocked up six chupa-chups, I thought at least I would "cut off the power" so that the neighbors on the plane would not be disturbed. But she gnawed them almost immediately, and even managed to talk with the candy: shove it by the cheek - and go!

Polina walks with Anya in any weather. They bought the girl waterproof shoes and clothes so that she could run through the snowdrifts and puddles both in the rain and in the snow. She goes to the pool, theater club, works with a neuropsychologist. In order for Anya to "calm down", you need to try very hard, says Polina.

Anya started to cry

Anya a year ago and now are two different people. The girl recovered and grew up. But the point is not in physical changes, the stereotypical movements - swaying, which almost all children who have been in the orphan system have, have disappeared.

“At first, she smiled all the time, even when she fell, hurt herself,” says Polina. - We explained that when it hurts, it's not funny. Now her reactions returned to normal, she began to cry when she was in pain. They even tell me that she manipulates me because she cries often. But I think that a person should be allowed to cry, to express negative emotions.

It is not easy for Anya to study, it is still difficult for her, she studies without pleasure. However, when the Tarasovs took her away, she did not know at all anything that 5-year-old children usually know. Now comprehends the world from books for 3-year-olds. But Polina understands why this is happening:

- Because of this constant fear, anxiety in an orphanage, all cognitive abilities are blocked in children, one principle prevails in them: to survive. I think when Anya finally feels confident in us, things will go, she will start learning with pleasure. In extreme cases, she has good sporting inclinations - she will master some kind of sport, taking into account her capabilities.

"We are a team"

“At first, after arriving home, Anya could follow any passer-by, taking her hand,” says Polina. - When I saw women - in reality, on TV, in a magazine, I asked: "Is this mom? And is this mom?" She scared several on the street, rushing into their arms with a shout: "Mommy!" But I just told her: Anya, I am here, without explaining anything to anyone. It’s better now, we agree that we don’t hug with strangers, and Anya obeys.

Polina is not offended by her adopted daughter, she also understands the reason for this behavior. And he tells her that their family is a team where one for all and all for one.

- She really likes it. And she often asks: "Mom, are we a team?" - "Yes, Anh, team."

Anya also has one more "favorite" question that she asks at night, waking up with anxiety: "Mom, when will we meet?" "We will meet in the morning, everything is fine!", Polina invariably answers.

From sympathy to love

At the school of adoptive parents, candidates are warned that they will not be able to fall in love with an adopted child right away. Maybe this will never happen at all. But this is not a reason to abandon children taken from the orphanage. Respect for other people's interests has not been canceled. And help, of course.

- It is impossible to immediately fall in love with a person, whatever he may be, - says Polina. - But from the very beginning I had sympathy for Anya and a desire to help her. Until you grow into another person, until you merge with him, until you see your reflection in him, love will not come.

Now Polina is watching how Anya picks up family phrases, speaks with her mother's intonation, and realizes that she has already become very attached to her.

- Little by little, it grows in us. And it pleases.

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