10 Signs You Are A Toxic Parent (get It Right!)

10 Signs You Are A Toxic Parent (get It Right!)
10 Signs You Are A Toxic Parent (get It Right!)

Video: 10 Signs You Are A Toxic Parent (get It Right!)

Отличия серверных жестких дисков от десктопных
Video: 10 Toxic Things Parents Say To Their Kids 2023, January
Anonim

Such behavior of parents poisons the psyche and life of the child. Toxic parents also love their children, only their idea of ​​goodness is strongly distorted. Instead of creating an atmosphere of lightness and comfort in the family, they hone the art of manipulation to satisfy their psychological needs (for example, to suppress increased anxiety, to cope with the fear of loneliness). At the same time, an adult can act exclusively out of good intentions and sincerely believe that "this is better for everyone." Meanwhile, the child is developing various complexes. So, you can be called toxic if any of these statements characterize you and your behavior. You always put your own interests and emotions above children's feelings Parents sometimes underestimate the feelings of the child, considering them frivolous. Such an adult can pick up the child from the matinee before it ends, because it will be inconvenient for him to come later. And going to the pediatric dentist is discussed only from the point of view of time and money, while the baby's fear of the doctor is regarded as just a child's whim. If the resentment against the ex-husband is higher than the child's longing for the father, this is a sign of toxicity. Typical everyday manifestations of toxicity include the compulsion to eat a dish: “Why don't you want to eat this? I spent the whole evening cooking! " You always put children's interests ahead of your own. Excessive servility and overprotection is no less harmful than parental selfishness. When parents try to pour milk into an already full glass, the responsibility is laid on the child: to have time to drink so that nothing is spilled. Excessive care prevents the child from breathing freely - being himself and making his own choices. Sacrifice and servility, first of all, turn out to be in the interests of the parents themselves - in this way they try to work out their complexes and "become necessary and significant." You are trying to control your child with guilt A person who has feelings of guilt is easy to control. Toxic parents use a variety of manipulative tricks. “I sacrificed my career for you”, “If you had someone to leave with, I would now”, “We bought a computer for you with the last money, and you.” All these are typical phrases of toxic parents, which are pronounced with the meaning: “You are for me should (a)! " You Make Your Child Responsible for Your Destiny If you tend to make your own child responsible for your happiness and well-being, then you can definitely be called a toxic parent. “Are you going to your friend's birthday? And if my blood pressure rises in the evening? "," So you go to another city to study, and I will stay here all alone "Such phrases also make the child feel guilty and give up his happiness. As a result, children sacrifice friends, school, and interests to care for their parent. You do not respect other people's boundaries. Parents, who consider themselves and the child as one, unconsciously poison his life. They enter the children's room without knocking, pick up the phone without asking, read correspondence and eavesdrop on conversations with friends, so that they can later discuss it at the family table. The catchphrase of a toxic parent: "Do you have anything to hide from me?" The lack of boundaries in childhood can negatively affect a person's life in the future - such people find it difficult to build relationships both in their personal lives and with colleagues. You Try to Control Everything With a lack of personal boundaries, excessive control goes hand in hand.Only in this case, it is not at all necessary to be in the same territory - the mother can call her son in the office and find out if he has put on a hat and how he had lunch. Excessive control is perfectly disguised as caring. However, in this way, parents try to cope with their own anxiety: "What if something happens?" Even though it is inconvenient for their children. You do not allow the child to make his own decisions The desire of parents to decide everything for the child is dictated not by concern, but by fear for the result. Making it yourself is sometimes faster, more convenient and more enjoyable than watching a child make his own mistakes. “Look, you’re getting stuck somewhere, and I’ll have to get you out of an unpleasant situation again” is a typical phrase of a toxic parent. However, the main task of a parent is to give his child the skill of self-service and decision-making in time. Thus, adults label the child as a fool, and over the years, words that are repeated many times begin to come true. You Constantly Criticize Toxic parents constantly criticize their children with good intentions: in their opinion, they need to hear what is wrong with them and begin to correct themselves. After all, a smart, beautiful, obedient child is a compliment for parental pride, and toxic adults serve their own psychological interests. “Are you doing this nonsense again?”, “And who are you being so sloppy!”, “Look who you look like!” In fact, excessive criticism leads to the fact that the child at first does not show you his drawing, then does not share a secret, and as he grows up, he will hide his relationship so as not to listen to all the shortcomings of his choice. You do not know how to restrain negative emotions If a person does not know how to restrain his own emotions, then all the "toxins" from the erupting volcano of aggression immediately reach those closest to him. First of all, children suffer, because they, due to lack of experience, cannot properly respond to outbursts of anger. Toxic parents find that talking in a raised voice helps their children hear and absorb what is being said better. However, the sound attack blocks the child's thought process, triggering a reaction that psychologists call "hit-run-freeze". As a result, the child's psyche is poisoned by a senseless feeling of fear. While the calm atmosphere in the family contributes to the analysis of the situation - what to do so that the negative experience does not repeat itself. You punish with ignorance. The reverse side of aggression is silence and lack of communication, the so-called passive aggression. As a punishment, toxic parents demonstrate ignorance - they seem to not notice the child, do not talk to him, do not answer his questions, ignore his requests. Despite its passivity, this behavior of adults is very toxic, because children are vulnerable to parental inattention. Silence, like aggression, prevents the child from analyzing the situation and drawing his own conclusions. Just as in other cases, ignoring serves the psychological interests of the parent himself - at such moments they themselves turn into small children and live out their own grievances from childhood. Photo: Freepik.com, Depositphotos Let's be friends on social networks! Subscribe to us on Facebook, VKontakte and Odnoklassniki!

Image
Image

Popular by topic