The Horrors Of Foster Parents: How A Sick Child Made Family Life Hell

Health 2023
The Horrors Of Foster Parents: How A Sick Child Made Family Life Hell
The Horrors Of Foster Parents: How A Sick Child Made Family Life Hell

Video: The Horrors Of Foster Parents: How A Sick Child Made Family Life Hell

Отличия серверных жестких дисков от десктопных
Video: Former foster children say they endured abuse for years 2023, February
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Last spring, Tatyana from Shcherbinka adopted two girls, six and seven years old, from an orphanage into her family. One of them, Vika, is healthy, her sister Vita, with severe cerebral palsy, could not even walk. But Tatiana was not afraid of difficulties, and Vita very quickly went on the mend.

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But Vika turned the life of the family into a living hell

For medical reasons, Tatiana could not have children, and after long fruitless attempts to recover, she and her husband decided to take orphans from the orphanage. She saw a photo of the little sisters Vita and Vika on the site for future parents.

“In the orphanage, they immediately began to convince me to take only Vika,” the woman says. - She behaved calmly, even a little inhibited, communicated well. With Vita, the eldest, we were alone for a very short time. She did not walk at all, crawled on her knees. But, despite this, she seemed a very cheerful, friendly child. Later Vita told me that when the date ended, she was afraid that I would not take her. So she said: "Mom, I was very offended that you left that day."

Tatyana began to collect documents in order to arrange custody of the sisters. The official conclusion of the guardian indicated that she could take one or two children, but without mental illnesses - this was the condition of Tatiana herself.

The orphanage staff assured that Vika and Vita are perfect. And if Vita had a difficult diagnosis of cerebral palsy, then Vika is practically healthy, apart from the common diseases that occur in all children. On April 25, 2017, the newly minted mother brought the children home.

The trouble crept up from where they did not expect.

“The first days everything went well, the girls and I played, went for walks, watched cartoons,” says Tatiana. - And literally three days later, a toy ball rolled away from Vicki under the chair. And she began to scream heart-rendingly.

According to the woman, since then, tantrums happened literally every other day. Vika swore like a dockman, growled, vomited, she could sit in the same position for an hour or two, sometimes she jumped on her butt, to the point of pain.

- These attacks have become a real nightmare. At first I was confused and did not know what to do. Vika began to beat her sister, tore off the curtains, bite, throw herself with everything that came to hand. It was impossible to calm her down. Once Vika grabbed the scissors and started poking them into Vitya's eyes. Once I wake up at night and see that Vika is sitting on the bed. I felt terrified. I tell her, they say, go to bed, but she does not go to bed. So often afterwards I had to follow her at night: no matter what happened.

Tatyana recalls how Vika sometimes undressed, approached her sister and said: "I will be a boy, and you will be a girl." She eavesdropped and peeped in the bathroom all the time, causing horror at home.

At first she crawled on her knees, and then went to the kindergarten

Everything went very differently with Sister Vita. Once in the family, the girl began to develop by leaps and bounds.

- From the orphanage, we took her exhausted, she had practically no muscles. But she quickly recovered, grew by 4 cm, - Tatiana recalls. - What it is to stand on your own feet - the girl did not know before. I gave her a foot massage, taught her to walk with the help of special walkers, then put her on a four-wheeled bicycle, tied her legs to the pedals, and she tried to ride. Slowly they developed their legs, they were like on strings, thin. Then we mastered the scooter: we ride it a little on the street, a little with our legs. She used to pull the handles forward and could already walk 200 meters without support. The successes were such that Vita was taken to a regular kindergarten.

Tatyana tells how at first she carried the walker to the kindergarten, and then a moment came and Vita said: “Take them, I don't need them”.At the same time I studied and read, write - I learned all the letters, poems.

Meanwhile, my sister's tantrums only intensified. Neighbor Svetlana recalls:

- Tanya has always been a calm person, and when I heard wild screams "on one note" from her apartment, I was very surprised. Tatiana said that she now has two girls under guardianship, and one of them screams like that. At first, Tanya thought that this was an adaptation process. Vika's attacks became more frequent, and I began to help Tanya calm the girl down. But Vika did not react to anything. She jumped right at me, gave me a few bruises. It struck me that the attack began suddenly, for no reason, and ended the same way. We took Vita, her sister, to another room - she was very scared

Tatiana took the girl to the polyclinic for an examination and received a referral to a neurologist. On June 19, Vika was admitted to a psychiatric hospital.

- When I took Vika from the orphanage, I thought that she was allergic - the girl always had red cheeks. Then the doctors explained to me that it was from drugs. I think that Vicki had mental problems, and she was “on pills” all the time in the orphanage. I have always said that I was ready to take a sick child, but only without mental disorders. Why have I been deceived? I can't handle a kid like that!

After long experiences and sleepless nights, Tatyana decided to write a refusal from Victoria. Of course, she did not even think about abandoning Vita

And then the real nightmare began.

- The guardianship officers began to put pressure on me. They said: either leave two children, or take away Vita.

Victoria was in the hospital until the guardianship authorities took her away, but Tatyana continued to take care of the girl: she brought clean things, fruits She did not want to return Vika home - she was afraid that she would harm her sister.

An unexpected visit: they took away their daughter while she was sleeping

- Once, when I was at work, I received a call from the guardianship and said that now they are in a kindergarten and confiscate Vita. It was September 22, - says, barely holding back tears, Tatiana. - The guardianship descended into the kindergarten in a quiet hour, the staff told the child that they would now go for a drive together in a car. How I rushed to the kindergarten - I don't remember, the air in my chest caught. Before they took Vita away, I blocked the way for their car. I say: “Where are you taking your daughter? On what basis? " I was told that there is an order to release me from the duties of Vita's guardian. I see through the black glass: a girl is sitting in the car, a little one, scared And they left.

Initially, Vita was admitted to the hospital. Tatiana was not allowed to see the girl. Then she decided to go to the hospital as a volunteer - but that didn't help either. The woman saw her Vita after parting only once - she helped her wash, go to the toilet, climb onto a high hospital bed. Then Tatyana was stopped at all to see the little girl.

- My poor daughter cried so much and was very afraid that I would leave her. She thought I had come to pick her up from the hospital. My heart was breaking, but I could not do anything, - Tatiana recalls.

Later, the woman found out that the sisters were again taken to the same orphanage, from where she had originally taken them. Now their profiles are back on the site for adoptive parents.

- I am very afraid that someone will take my Vita into the family, - says Tatiana. “I hired a lawyer to handle this case. I want to take my daughter, I want to adopt her. We discussed this with Vita, she herself suggested that I give her a new name - so that all sorrows remain in the past.

According to Tatyana, the former director of an orphanage in the Smolensk region, who has now quit, told her that it’s too early for you to be a guardian. If you have given up on one girl, then give up on the other. Take both sisters or get none!

Vita's teacher in kindergarten says that she was terribly surprised when she found out that the girl was being taken from the family:

- We have other foster children - but I have never seen such responsible mothers as Tatyana.At first, the girl walked badly, staggering, and grabbed tables and chairs. But her mother gave her a massage, and very soon Vita began to walk around the group herself. Tatyana did everything that we demanded from the parents, she immediately collected the child's portfolio, with photographs and her works. I can't get it from other blood parents for months. She thought through everything to the smallest detail: T-shirts, panties - always clean, sewed additional pockets. The girl knew poetry, counting, it was clear that the family was engaged in her.

On the day when the child was taken away by the guardianship authorities, the teacher was in the kindergarten.

- I saw the car on duty through the window. The children were in cribs, Vita was asleep. A colleague who was in the group later told me that the girl was crying terribly, saying, they say, I’ll wait for my mother. But we were told that the guardianship is engaged in this matter, you must act in accordance with the law and not go anywhere. In December, the girl's medical record was taken away, in January the child was expelled. And Tatyana at this time was still waiting for the trial. But everything had already been decided.

Guardianship officers: the girl was taken away legally

The guardianship authorities of Shcherbinka explained to us that Vita was legally taken from Tatiana:

- It is impossible to separate sibling children - siblings who grew up in the same social environment, at the same time were placed in the same organization for orphans and from the same organization were taken into care.

According to the guardianship specialist, it is stipulated in the duties of candidates-guardians that they must familiarize themselves with the state of health of children in advance. And they sign a certain document that they have read and agree.

“Tatyana Vladimirovna took the children, the documents were signed by her,” the specialist explained. - She herself sent the child to a psychiatric clinic, and there independent doctors did not put her any diagnosis. In fact, I believe that the woman simply could not cope with the adaptation period in the family. She initially wanted to take Vika - a healthy little girl, then she found out that she had a sister and asked to give both of them to her. She put them on record with us - everything was great. Girl Vita with cerebral palsy needed to devote a lot of time: massage, treatment, procedures. The second girl, Vicki, developed jealousy. She tried to switch Tatyana Vladimirovna's care to herself. Naturally, seeing that her mother pays all the attention to her sister, Vika began to offend her, pulling her mother's love over herself. Here Tatyana Vladimirovna began to complain about Vika. But the soft, kind Vita she really liked. We offered the woman to help specialists who would help her, psychologists, psychiatrists, lawyers. She gave up everything.

Lawyer Alexei Nyankin, who is in charge of this case, disagrees with her:

- The guardianship authorities refer to the fact that the sisters cannot be separated. But there is a practice that the separation of children is allowed when it is in their interests. Of their family, seven children lived in orphanages. The other sisters and brothers were distributed to foster families one at a time.

According to the lawyer, at the trial the representative of the guardianship did not admit that the girl was ill. She said: take any child, now they are all sick. But there is data from Vika's card - in the last year before Tatyana took her under her care, she was in a psychiatric hospital. However, Tatiana was not informed about the disease. On the site for adoptive parents, where information about the girl has now been posted, the pediatrician in the video says that she has a delay in psychomotor development and needs special medications.

EXPERT OPINIONS

Psychiatrist, psychotherapist Maria SKRYABINA explained that the child's brain is extremely flexible and mental retardation can be corrected. The disease diagnosed with F 98.9, which was put by Vick, is psychogenic, reactive, that is, arising in response to provocation from the outside. It can be provoked by fear, stress, adaptation, psychogenic trauma. The baby moved from the orphanage to the family, for a child it is difficult.Such a disorder is corrected by classes with a psychologist, and most importantly, by the affection, care and love of the parent. Of course, you need to collect data, research the girl's behavior and her medical records. One thing can be said: any child, even from an ordinary family, can have disorders of this kind, and it does not immediately manifest themselves.

Human rights activist Lev PONOMAREV noted that the ombudsman for children's rights in Moscow, Yevgeny Bunimovich, explained in a conversation with him that at the time of the decision on the girl's fate there was no official medical report on Vika. And if it is provided, then the case may be decided in favor of Tatiana.

Marina BRUSENTSEVA, expert of the All-Russian Public Movement "For Human Rights", told us about her position on this case:

- We could not fail to be surprised by the actions of the guardianship officers. In this story, they are definitely not based on the interests of children, as the law interprets, or rather, paragraph 3 of Art. 124 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation. And the law tells us that children from the same family can be given up for adoption in different families, if it is in their interests. Here is just such a case. The youngest Vika needs special treatment, otherwise she may harm herself and her disabled sister. Vitalia was lucky - she found a new family, mom and dad, ready to give her all this. Unfortunately, Tatyana and her husband cannot handle two girls with such serious problems. So does Vitaly really need to be deprived of the happiness of growing up in a family where they love her?

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