What Is It Like To Be A Foster Father?

Health 2023
What Is It Like To Be A Foster Father?
What Is It Like To Be A Foster Father?

Video: What Is It Like To Be A Foster Father?

Отличия серверных жестких дисков от десктопных
Video: Interviewing My Adopted Dad | Adopted From Foster Care 2023, February

In Russia, not many people know that parental leave can be issued not only for the mother, but also for the father, so the proportion of men who have gone on maternity leave in the country does not exceed 2.02%.


For comparison, in the West, more than 80% of men with children take parental leave. Why is this so rare in Russia?

Perhaps the prevailing opinion that only a woman is able to provide the best care for a child is crushing, and the role of a "breadwinner" is traditionally assigned to the father in the family.

Of course, it is difficult to overestimate the importance of a mother, especially in the first months of a child's life, but in the modern world, and due to various circumstances, sometimes it is the father who has to look after the child.

So what is it like to be a dad on maternity leave?

To begin with, a child is never a vacation, and a foster father understands this better than any working father. Of course, dad will be hard. Firstly, in our stereotypical society, not many will understand and approve of the situation in which mom works, and dad stays at home with the child. Secondly, it is, of course, a lot of unusual new things and responsibilities. But if everything in the family suits everyone, dad is happy with such a role, mom is also happy, and most importantly, the baby is not infringed on anything, then why not?

What are the advantages?

The father's sense of responsibility and affection for the child increases. The relationship between the child and the foster father will be stronger than if he was missing at work all day.

Mom may not quit her job, and dad can take a break from making money.

Dad can combine his maternity leave with his hobbies or work from home (freelance, etc.).

Dad begins to better understand his wife, having experienced all the difficulties of the early age of the baby, and there will also be no jealousy of his wife due to lack of attention.

Maternity payments. Also, a man on maternity leave, like a mother, can expect monthly maternity payments for childcare.

What are the reasons for taking parental leave for the father?

Postpartum depression The baby will be much calmer with a balanced dad than with a mom in an unstable emotional state.

The issue of money is always a very important point, and with the birth of a baby, it becomes especially relevant. Therefore, the best option is to work for the one whose earnings are higher.

Mom categorically does not want to sit on maternity leave, because she has other priorities, perhaps she is still too young for the life of a young housewife, or for some other reason is not able to take care of the baby. If in this situation dad cannot go on vacation either, then grandmother or grandfather can go on maternity leave (also officially).

Mom is afraid of losing her job.

Dad wants to take a break from work and spend more time with the child.

Dad cannot find a job yet.

What should be considered when the dad goes on maternity leave?

In any case, a man needs self-realization, therefore, even while on maternity leave, he should do what he loves - be it playing the guitar, photography, sports or something else. And my mother's duty is to help her husband in this.

The self-esteem of any man can fall if he sits on a fragile conjugal neck. Therefore, even if the situation suits both, you should not miss the opportunity for additional work (part-time work, freelancing, reduced working hours, etc.).

Dad's vacation like that shouldn't be too long. Even a woman after 2-3 years of maternity leave gets so tired that she flies to work like on a holiday. What can we say about a man then?

Everyone understands that no father can fully replace a mother. It is with the mother that the baby can be one, and only the mother can breastfeed the baby. But artificial feeding no longer scares anyone, and the mother's indispensability may also be questionable.

“The main thing is that the child has his own adult,” says Larisa Ovcharenko, PhD in Psychology, Associate Professor at Moscow City Pedagogical University. - A child's attachment is the most important phenomenon, especially in infancy. Therefore, the main thing is that the child has his own adult who will provide reliability, safety, which will create the correct emotional exchange. This role can be easily performed by dad."

In any case, the situation "dad on maternity leave" should be the decision of both spouses. Otherwise, sooner or later, it may lead to conflict.

Parental leave for dad is not so scary. Yes, for 1.5 years you will almost fall out of your usual "free" life, but on the other hand, it is you who will teach your baby the first steps and the first word, it is you who will influence the formation of his character, and for your wife you will be the most wonderful husband in the world.

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