Child psychologist Tatyana Danilova explained to Sobesednik.ru why it is very important to hug your child.
- Ten years ago, it was believed that children should not be taught to hands - they should hug a lot, take them in their arms without any particular reason, and stroke them. Otherwise, they will grow up spoiled, dependent, caressed mama's sons and capricious crybabies. As a result, we have several generations of people with an inability to recognize their desires, with difficulties in expressing their own feelings and an inability to feel others. They, of course, did not become happier from this.
Now parents are constantly being told about the importance of hugging. They are no longer afraid to take their children in their arms, although this causes protest and misunderstanding among the older generation - grandmothers still remember about "mama's sons". Don't believe it - hugs are good.
Children develop faster
It’s not just an easy way to tell your child “love”. Children who grow up in orphanages and are deprived of maternal affection noticeably lag behind their peers growing up in families, not only psychologically, but also physically. If the child is not limited in tactile contact, he will not be a mama's boy, but a calm, self-confident, contact person. Such children have more confidence in themselves, they better understand their desires and needs. And as a result, they develop faster.
Hugs do not need to be dosed
I am sometimes asked how many hugs a child needs. Funny question, but American psychologist Virginia Satir wrote that we all "need 4 hugs a day for survival, 8 hugs for support and 12 for growth." If you want, you can focus on these numbers, although they are, of course, very conditional - all children and adults are different. And hugs are not something to dose. Most of all, children under one year old need them, this need is gradually decreasing. Teenagers can be quite reluctant to cuddle - this is also normal, although painful for many parents. This, by the way, is another reason not to dictate to yourself how many hugs are the norm, and how many is too much: children grow up quickly - hug them while they need it.