Dreaming is not only not harmful, but even useful. The main thing is to do it right. Dreams inspire, motivate to learn new things and help to develop. They also teach purposefulness, consistency, and a chance for a more successful and happier life. This is why it is so good for both children and adults to dream. However, this business also has its own nuances. Natalie Leroux @coach_leroux, a psychologist, a member of the International Coaching Federation, a certified trainer in breathing practices, who uses the gestalt approach, told Letidora about how to teach a child to dream correctly. Why it is useful to dream Only 10% of people achieve great success. There are only about 500-600 billionaires out of 6 billion people. The fact is that the majority follow the path of least resistance, by inertia. School, college, work, family - everything is predetermined. People may think that someday everything will change for them, they will begin to live for real. In the meantime, there is bread and butter on the table and stable, albeit unloved, work. So everything remains the same, routine absorbs every day. How to get out of this vicious circle? It is very important to allow yourself to dream, have a goal and a desire to change your life for the better. Teach your child to dream correctly in childhood - this will give him a tool for his own development and self-realization in the future. Here are some tips for parents on how to do it. Invite your child to fantasize in the game "What if?" See what example you are setting for your child. Remember that children copy their parents' behavior. Let yourself dream and show it with your example. Play with your child a game "What if..?" Ask questions that suggest fantasy work. For example, “And if you and I had a big suitcase with money, what would we do?”, “And if they gave us an airplane, where would we go?”, “And if you became the smartest scientist on planet, what would you invent then? " Don't criticize your child Most of us grew up with criticism. The previous generation believed that it is better not to praise, otherwise you will spoil. Many parents believe that by criticizing a son or daughter, they instill in them a desire to become better. Unfortunately, this is an illusion. She discourages the desire to dream, to strive for something, to do something. Self-esteem falls from criticism, self-confidence, depreciation begins. “Well, what have you drawn! Only translated the colors! " - the voice of the criticizing parent becomes the inner voice of the child, which continues to haunt him all his life. Adults always need to remember that by critically assessing the creative impulses of the baby, they discourage him from doing anything. Even if it doesn't work out, praise your child for trying and work together to figure out how you can do it better the next time. But never discount the efforts of a small creative person. Do not compare your child to other children It is important to understand that each toddler is unique and has its own set of abilities and talents. Someone has a good memory by nature - learning is easier for him. Some children need more effort to do this. This point is especially important for children with chronic diseases. By comparing their performance to that of a sibling, sibling, or just peers, you can instill feelings of inadequacy and fear of not living up to high expectations. And this is the path to self-doubt and in adulthood. In this case, the child will be afraid to dream and believe that his dreams are really capable of coming true. In addition, by devaluing the child's desires (“Vitya wants to become a lawyer, and you are only excellent in physical education!”), You do not give him the opportunity to figure out what he really likes. It is important to teach children to live their own life, full of those things that bring them joy and pleasure. Do not teach your child to replace their true dreams with others. Then he will not be haunted by the feeling that he is not good enough, not diligent enough, not successful enough in his achievements, because he has a picture of the life of the “ideal Viti” before his eyes. Better teach your child to compare himself only with himself and with his previous successes. For example: "Look, last year you could only run 200 meters, but this year it’s already a whole kilometer!" It is important to help your child see even the smallest progress towards their own dreams. Teach your child to achieve a goal Many children give up their dreams after the first difficulties. This is a classic situation when a child is raised in an atmosphere of overprotection. Help your little one develop willpower. Sit next to him and develop a step-by-step plan to reach your goal. Teaching your child to notice even small successes in the business he is doing will motivate him to move on. Be sure to praise and reward him for the work done. So he will feel that going towards goals and achieving them is a very pleasant process. At the same time, give him the opportunity to prove himself in simple household chores - to put things in order on the desktop, vacuum, help you in the kitchen. Support the dreams of a teenager Today, many parents are faced with the fact that their children in their teens lose interest in life and do not want to do anything, including dreaming. At a transitional age, children suddenly devalue their dreams and goals: they sharply cool down to their former hobbies and abandon plans to which they have been going for so long. There are many reasons for this. They learn to understand themselves and what they really want in life, test their ideals for strength. This is an important step. The main task at this age is the beginning of the separation of the child from the family, the path to the formation of a mature and independent personality. Parents are no longer the absolute authority. Often, a teenager begins to deny everything that parents say and offer him. This is a way to demonstrate your independence and a way to prove yourself as a person. At the same time, it is an opportunity to learn to hear yourself and your desires better. And even if the dream of a football career is left behind, let your child feel that there is always a choice. And you need to do what you want, if your heart tells you so. Go forward and don't look back. Adolescence is one of the critical stages in a person's life and, in a sense, it is a time of self-determination. The attitude towards past childhood dreams can change. And here it is important to understand what caused it. Perhaps, behind the depreciation of dreams lies anxiety and self-doubt? Or has the dream changed because there is a search for something new behind it? In each of these cases, you need to help the child understand his feelings, teach him to understand his emotions. Both the parents themselves and the teachers with whom the teenager has built a trusting relationship can help in this. Indeed, fear often hides true desire. Ask how the child feels, what he would like, what raises his doubts, and what inspires. Parents in this situation need to be a "safe haven": make it clear to the teenager that even if you do not like his new guidelines, you still unconditionally love him and accept him for who he is. Photo: Freepik.com, Depositphotos Let's be friends on social networks! Subscribe to us on Facebook, VKontakte and Odnoklassniki!
