Bullying, or bullying, is something that children often encounter in school. It can be very difficult for a child to resist aggressors, so he cannot do without the help of his parents. The involvement of adults in solving this problem is necessary because the consequences of bullying can be very dire.
What is bullying?
First, let's figure out what types of bullying exist. They can injure the child to varying degrees and affect his condition. So, there is verbal, physical and cyberbullying. The first can be expressed in ridicule, malicious jokes, spreading lies about the victim and insults. Physical bullying involves violence, causing harm to a person's health or property. Cyberbullying is a relatively new phenomenon that has emerged thanks to the Internet. Often, schoolchildren use social media to harm the victim. They leave negative comments, hack personal pages, distribute photos and videos without the consent of the person. A 2015 U. S. study found that approximately 15% of high school students experience cyberbullying in high school.
It happens that children use all kinds of bullying towards their victim. In this case, it is even more difficult for the child to cope with the insult inflicted on him.
Why is anyone being bullied at all
The reasons can be very different. A child can only be bullied because he is not like others. The rejection of schoolchildren can be based on religious, racial, social grounds.
The offenders are of two types. The former, with low self-esteem, try to assert themselves at the expense of others using bullying techniques. Others, on the other hand, value themselves highly. The problem with the latter is that they do not have empathy and do not understand what kind of offense they inflict on a person. In addition, children who are abused at home can often become aggressors.
How to understand that a child is being bullied at school
Sometimes bullying victims have trouble sleeping or lose their appetite. They may become more withdrawn or self-harm. Auto-aggression can manifest itself in self-accusation, self-humiliation, bodily harm. Oddly enough, from the point of view of psychology, this is one of the mechanisms of psychological defense.
In fact, the signs that a child is being bullied at school can be very diverse. This is easiest to understand for parents who have a close relationship with their children.
We talked with clinical psychologist Denis Ivanov and learned how to help a child who is being bullied at school.
Denis Ivanov Clinical Psychologist, Head of Social Programs of the Association for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Before proceeding with a conversation with the injured child, it is necessary to create suitable conditions for this. The child must be sure that the parents share his feelings, that they are on his side, that they will not make the situation worse.
A child who is being bullied sometimes does not always clearly define the boundaries beyond which other people should not go in relation to him.
It is necessary to explain to the child the difference between the norm and not the norm. Parents should tell him that in any interaction, even if it is supposedly a game, people enter exclusively of their own free will, only when they themselves want it.
It is important to convey to the child the idea that one of the basic needs of any person is to feel safe. Therefore, if someone is poisoning him, then it is worth talking about it, because such a situation is unacceptable not only in relation to an individual person, but also generally bad for the whole group. Other people also experience fear at this moment, even if they manage to keep aloof. Often, other children support the perpetrators of bullying so that they do not differ and do not become victims of bullying themselves.
After talking with the child, the parent must take action. It is necessary to ring the bells and involve teachers or educators in the problem. You need to make sure that any possibility of a repetition of such episodes is eliminated.
Unfortunately, there is no guarantee that such situations will not recur in a child's life, so prevention is needed. It would be great if parents turned to a psychologist for help, who will teach the victim of bullying to react correctly to aggression, to defend their position.
If there is no opportunity to consult a specialist, you should try to draw up a “safety plan” with your child yourself. List together phrases and actions that will help him resist the violence.