Mom, You Owe Me

Mom, You Owe Me
Mom, You Owe Me

Video: Mom, You Owe Me

Отличия серверных жестких дисков от десктопных
Video: Mom,You owe me $14.75 2023, January
Anonim

There are two antique vases in my house. My friend Nina Ivanovna left them. She was doing repairs in her tiny apartment and was terribly afraid of breaking the jewel. So I asked to temporarily shelter these vases. However, her apartment has long been renovated and sold, and I still have the vases. Already eight years Or maybe more. Friends advised Nina Ivanovna to sell the vases, but she resisted: what if Anton comes back and scolds her? Why did you sell the antique? Anton did not become a connoisseur of beauty, but he played great on the nerves of the unfortunate mother.

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CHEAT! STILL DECEPTION!

Anton did not enter the budgetary department in Plekhanovka. And what should you do if you barely prepared? So they took him to the commercial department, and the retired mother had to pay for her studies. The costs were considerable, especially when you consider that you also had to pay for the constant reloading of the tails - unofficially, of course. Savings accumulated once were rescued. Anton complained:

- Teachers are animals! They just want to overwhelm me!

So each session cost Nina Ivanovna a pretty penny. In addition, the sonny constantly got into various adventures. Either he loses a new textbook, or a synopsis is needed, which he did not write down, and you can take it from a friend only for money. Once Anton told his mother that the cops had swept some guy off their course and he needed to be rescued. At the same time, he himself, of course, has nothing to do with it, but a friend will certainly drag him into this ugly story, and surrender him to the cops! And then it will be too late to figure out who is right and who is wrong.

Nina Ivanovna cried, but humbly went to withdraw money from the book. After all, not someone, but a son asks: "Help, mom!"

Soon she began to notice that Anton goes to the institute without textbooks and lectures. Yes, and in the morning he sleeps calmly. He always had an explanation ready:

- And we do not have the first pair today. And I'm very tired. You yourself understand: learning is not easy.

Two years have passed. And it occurred to someone to ask Nina Ivanovna: does the young man have a student card? Did the mother look at the record book? It turned out that her precious Antosha did not have these crusts. And then it turned out at all: my son had never appeared at the institute! What did you do? Unknown. The mother gave her son a hysterical. And she received such a slap in the face that she almost fainted. Apparently, it was not for nothing that my son once went to the boxing section.

MOSCOW-KHABAROVSK-MAGADAN

And the boy grew up. It didn't work out to play the student, I started playing the boss. Suddenly, Anton woke up with a passion for the construction business. So he began to disappear on "business trips". It will disappear, and after a month it calls:

- Mom, be proud! Now I work at a construction site, in Khabarovsk, I lead a team. Everything is fine, I will make a lot of money, but so far there have been "lifting" ones.

Nina will sigh and send her son a tidy sum, since she involuntarily began to earn money, and the old savings are not over yet. What next

- Mom, - writes Antosha, - they threw me with the money. And I’m the boss, we have to pay off with the team. Help out! If I don’t pay, then it’s not a fact that I’ll get home …

Once Anton showed up already in Magadan, from where he asked for money for a return ticket. And whether he was there - go and figure it out. What's next? The story continued. Suddenly Anton "at the call of his heart" moved to a construction site in Sochi. He wrote to his mother that here he was offered a grain business. Just to begin with, you urgently need to invest money in this very business.

When the son appeared at home, Nina Ivanovna tried to shame him, but the insolent Anton immediately threatened to punch his mother. And often he punched in, after which the unfortunate woman was forced to cover up the bruises with a masking cream. To the questions of acquaintances, smiling embarrassedly, she answered that, they say, she fell in the bathroom yesterday. This story has been going on for ten long years.Deep in debt, the unhappy elderly woman vowed that she would no longer give her son a single ruble! But then Anton wrote that he had met a woman - the dream of his life, but with teeth - trouble, there is nothing to eat. We need 50 thousand. Sent a photo, pressed pity. And Nina Ivanovna gave up again.

"SELL APARTMENT!"

No matter how many relatives and friends talked to Nina Ivanovna, everything was useless. No, she agreed with the advisers, but in the end she was still inferior to her son. And he became more and more impudent. He no longer asked, but demanded: "Give me money!" If the mother refused, he would beat him.

After the next lantern, the pensioner decided to change the apartment: to sell their kopeck piece, buy a one-room apartment, and put the remaining money in the bank. Then add, taking into account the pension and part-time jobs, and buy my son a one-room apartment too. It was clear to everyone that she was taking a terrible risk: Anton was unlikely to wait until the money “grew up”. Rather, he will take his mother by force and squeeze out his share, and what will happen to Nina Ivanovna, he does not care.

And so it happened. Anton went on another "business trip" and began to call his mother, demanding his part of the amount: they say, there is a profitable business and money is needed immediately! Nina Ivanovna boasted to everyone that she said to her son: "No!" But in fact she gave up. Money leaked. Allegedly invested in the case with a 100% guarantee

Now Nina Ivanovna is making repairs in her "odnushka" again - Antosha will arrive soon. He tells friends how his son has changed for the better and even sent her a gift from his "far away". Maybe he ran out of money again?

Irina Matyushina, psychologist:

- Before us is a typical example of a manipulative son and a mother who has a guilt complex towards her son. Most likely, the woman raised him alone, and therefore subconsciously considers herself guilty for the fact that the boy grew up without a father. Hence the desire to compensate for the lack of his father's love with money. In addition, blind maternal love obscures her eyes so much that, giving her son money, she did not even try to control his spending. She had no doubts: the son was telling the truth. But in fact, she just did not want to know that he was lying to her! And what came of all this? From a manipulator who squeezed money from his mother with complaints, the son turned into an open blackmailer capable of physical violence.

Top-level manipulators

Quite often, adult children shamelessly manipulate their parents. They know how to induce guilt, and you are convinced that the problems of a grown child are your fault. And that makes you vulnerable. Here are the most common manipulations.

Your child demands that you take responsibility for his or her life. Parents are forced to give money and perform additional duties, while an adult son or daughter remains completely passive. An adult child makes you doubt your sanity. You would swear you discussed your job search plan with him yesterday, but today he pretends to be talking about completely different things. An adult son or daughter is holding you emotionally hostage by threatening to harm or even kill yourself. The intentions of people who have attempted suicide in the past should be taken seriously. But recurring threats are pure manipulation. Your child is constantly borrowing. Financial problems are caused by the fact that he cannot (or does not want) to find a job. A son or daughter promises to repay debts, but you and I understand that these are empty promises. It is possible and necessary to help children financially, but on condition that they do not begin to exploit you. You are ready to be offended. At the same time, you justify the child by the fact that he has problems. He becomes kind and considerate only when he needs something from you, primarily money. Denying a request triggers an immediate outburst of aggression. As a result, you begin to perceive emotional abuse and chaos as normal.

What should be done if you have a similar situation?

Do not react violently and impulsively to what is happening.Remember that you yourself define the rules of interaction. You are solely responsible for how you react, and the more often you remember it, the less vulnerable you are to manipulation. Set firm boundaries to prevent your son or daughter from manipulating you with guilt. Limit the amount you are willing to spend to help resolve another crisis. Do not throw money, even if you have the opportunity. Provide financial support in exchange for sincere gratitude and encourage children to strive for independence.

Maria Rozhdestvenskaya.

Photo: ADOBESTOCK

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